I’ll get out. Everything seems easier said than done when its an easy decision, a clean cut precision almost like a vision the future for a moment seems like it can be told. But when you’re trapped in your mind, you’re blind, deaf, dumb and numb to everything except pain. For the first time optimism drives you insane. You give 150% to the universe to gain zero. You troubled mind is your own hero, you’re surviving a matrix you’re neo. Reality is not your friend nor your foe, its only there to let you know that everything can disappear, from light to glare, motion sickness from a blank stare, not a soul in the world could care at the same time you fall over your fear, a spear through your heart allowing logic to depart from super and ultra natural. Nothing is actual quite like depression and wrong expression. Wrong words wrong moment wrong advice, criticism for your vice and habits you tried quitting more than thrice. Habits that feed on the dark parts of your soul, heavy and cold, audacious and bold like tattoos, scarred under your dermal tissues, a million fuckin issues that captain obviously show on your face, in your ways, in your life. Living in the past, the outcast of what once used to be family but now aimlessly holding on to a thread, more foul than dead, more useless than empty head. Through sufferation though stems a determination to conquer all past pain, but heavy again with memory strain from memory lane, trying to love and remain fair and cut off despair to be selfless and righteous and gracious and appreciative of another humanoid who’s been through blood and tears. Singing amazing grace before showing your face to anyone with pride, yours you can hide and confide in God. Trying to come out your mind like you come out a mother, bloody and helpless. Crying and suffocating, confused, bewildered, lethargic, lost. Ready to be against all power and confusion. “Your stinking resolution is no type of solution,preventing me from freedom maintaining your pollution I won’t support your lie no more I won’t even try no more If I have to die, oh Lord that’s how I choose to live. I won’t be compromised no more I can’t be victimised no more I just don’t sympathize no more cause now I understand. You just wanna use me you say “love” then abuse me you never thought you’d loose me, but how quickly we forget that nothing is for certain you thought I’d stay here hurting your guilt trip’s just not working repressing me to death. Cause now I’m choosing life, I take the sacrifice, if everything must go, then go. That’s how I choose to live. But I get out. I get out of all your boxes, you can’t hold me in these chains. I want out of social bondage, knowing my condition is the reason I must change. See, what you see is what you get and you ain’t seen nothiny yet. I don’t care if you’re upset I could care less if you’re upset. See it don’t change the truth and your hurt feeling’s no excuse to keep me in this box, psychological locks, repressing true expression, cementing this repression promoting mass deception so that no one can be healed. I don’t respect your system I won’t protect your system when you talk I don’t listen, let my Father’s will be done. I’ve just accepted what you said keeping me among the dead the only way to know is to walk then learn and grow but faith is not your speed, you’ve had everyone believed that you’re the sole authority just follow the majority afraid to face reality, the system is a joke. You’d be smart to save your soul, when escape is mind control you spent your life in sacrifice to a system for the dead, are you sure?.. Where is the passion in this living are you sure it’s God you serving, obligated to a system getting less then you’re deserving. Who made up these schools, I say, who made up these rules, I say animal conditioning. Just to keep us as a slave. But i’ll get out. ” Mark my words, paint a portrait, absorb it, rest on it, i am a freedom chapter, a fighter, a writer, clearly. Spare me escape, i’ll get out.


2 thoughts on “Eventually.

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